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The Spirit

Medium: oil pastel, pastel, and watercolor paint

6.23.2019

Control


When I was a child, I just wanted someone to see me.  I wanted someone to see all my pain and shame and to really see inside.  I wanted to feel like I didn’t have to hide it.  I just wanted to feel like I was alright.

I am unraveling all the wrongs that were done to me and it is just so difficult.  I don’t know how to navigate through the pain.  It is overwhelming.

I don’t want to be mad at him anymore, but I just don’t know what else to feel.  I want to move on but can’t.  I’m not stuck; I’m where I’m supposed to be.  It is out of my control.


6.20.2019

Day 6: Witness

You are all witnesses to my unfathomable love.

6.19.2019

Day 5: False Teachers

Beware of those who teach my ways
but have real evil in their hearts.
Judge their character.

6.13.2019

The Whole Me

I've been on a journey of healing for a number of years now. When I had a kind of emotional and mental breakdown about seven years ago, there was no way I would have believed I'd be where I am today.

I really thought my life as I knew it to be over. I definitely contemplated suicide. I definitely stayed on my psych meds for a year as a kind of punishment.

I was so self-destructive.

Now, I really can't believe how good I feel. I know why I had a breakdown. I know why I have had so many dysfunctional relationships.

It is truly a miracle that I am this whole now.

6.10.2019

Who are you?

I've come to realization that we are all born with an identity entirely our own. When we are born into a dysfunctional family, we have to become who our family needs.

For me I was the second mother to my two sisters which was necessary because my mother was and still is caught up in her own pain and addiction.

You think the wounds caused to you are too much to bear. You think that you can't move past it.

I may not be the best representation of what it can look like to be healed; I am truly in the process of getting better each and every day. But, with God's help everything is possible. I am living proof.

We are all meant to be who we were born to be.

6.07.2019

Special Terms

I died today.
The person you think I am is no longer.
I was born to be me.

Today I am.

My Life
Medium: oil pastel, pastel, and watercolor paint

6.06.2019

Day 4: Outcast

You are outcast and downcast,
but fully accepted in the LORD.

6.05.2019

New You

Fierceness is brimming,
boldness is awakened.

Fierceness
Medium: pastel and water color paint

Boldness
Medium: pastel, oil pastel, and water color paint