2.28.2022

Athlete

I've always been athletic; it's a significant part of my healing that I depend on. Sometimes when I get sick, I have to rest up. But ultimately, I turn back to it for physical and emotional healing.

When I was in high school I started running on cross-country and track even though my family could not afford running sneakers for me. One of the coaches got me a great pair.

My first year on cross-country, we ended up at regionals. I ran the 800 meter and won. I never even placed. This was a big deal for me and on top of it I beat our best female runner who was a senior. Unbelievable. But, I had to pay a price for the success.

Soon after the race, my back was in so much pain that I had to be carried onto the bus and then home.

Is this what will happen to me if I follow my dream? Something painful that takes me completely out of the arena?

2.27.2022

Abuse

Why would a mother allow her child to be raped?

She was raped herself as a child. But, doesn’t she want the cycle to end?

What motivates her to be in the darkness as well? And not just a little, but fully in.

She scares me to this day.

Lord, whatever power she has take away. Bring her to her knees to You. You are the only one who can free us from her brutality.


2.25.2022

Spirit of Indignation

Some call it self-righteousness,

others know it to be a puffed up attitude.


Either way, the spirit of repression is behind it.

One wants to feel better than someone else.


Lord, we ask that Your spirit of unity

tie us to do Your will, amen.

2.24.2022

Church 2

Empty seats and aisles,

waiting for the plague to end.


Your leader is a false idol

with success in business.


Your missions are overseas.


When will you listen to the

moans and groans

of your own community?

2.19.2022

Deceased

There is one person from my graduating high school class who has died. This was years ago, so tragically very young.

I saw her waitressing at a restaurant I ate at one evening while visiting my family in my home town. I can’t help feeling like if I had said something nice to her, I could have somehow lifted her out of her cloud of misery.

I know it was not my fault… none of it was. Those who have left this world in their pain and agony is not our fault. All we can do is pray for whomever we can. That is all; it is more than enough.

2.16.2022

Rest

Holier now than

you have ever been.


The journey is just beginning.

2.08.2022

Suffering

What do you do when God keeps you sick for so long that it becomes the new normal?

I am definitely so angry at my own flesh. The constant wrestling is exhausting. At least when I’m sick I am so weak that the required grace is so great that every fleshly temptation is subdued.

This is the blessing in my suffering.