Enemies Within

My mother is still a drug addict. She still believes she knows more than me. She still thinks that she can do nothing wrong.

I do understand that drug addicts use out of their pain. But I keep waiting to see when she will start emotionally growing past adolescence.

She self-medicates her pain which makes her an expert with medicating others, like me.

The last time I spent time with her, she had me smoking more than I was ever comfortable to get me through a very difficult time.

But now I’m fearful to be around her again. I have had the luxury of living far away from her since I was 19 years old. She stirs so many feeling in me.

I’m sure I still blame her for not being able to protect me from being raped. And I don’t need her trying to take care of me by always being over critical by telling me to relax and passing me some kind of medicine.

I’m over it. What’s wrong with being raw and vulnerable? What’s wrong with talking about the painful stuff?

My job should not be to puff up her ego any longer.

New Normal

 Where did you hide

with your pride and evil intent.

There is nowhere you can go

that God cannot find.

It is time for change;

your conscience will not rest

until you do.

Remembrance

I recall the wrath

you sent to me.

I recall the mistrust

you assumed

because I was sick.

I recall

the assumption

that I no longer

clung to my integrity.

You were mistaken.

God has a plan

for even the disappointment.

War Cry

 I don't think you know who you are messing with.

I am seem docile, even humble.

But what you don't know is that
God has made me a warrior.

You can say whatever you want
however mean you think you are
will not touch me.

You have to answer to God.

Triangles or Rectangles

 You seem to be an isosceles triangle

but really are an obtuse rectangle.

You can't seem to fit in with

right angles,

too rigid in your ways.

Back off and be alone.

We do not need your judgement.

art

Too Elevated

When your perspective

becomes skewed,

find someone to talk

sense back into you.

It's not that life has

lost it's meaning,

but not every thing

is meaningful.

I pray that you

gain discernment

in your enlightened walk.

Made It

On the other side of the storm now.

My health was so debilitating at times; more than I thought I could get through.

Now on to active recovery mode.

Hope you are getting healed as well.