Mothering

We have a son who suffers from a severe anxiety disorder. It is truly heartbreaking watching him fail at attempts to control it.

We are finally going to medicate him. Pray that the doctors are sensitive to his fragile nature.

He Poisoned Me

I cannot sleep, too much coffee today. I am being attacked by the enemy because I will never measure up. The things I did with that man are unforgivable. I deserve to be lonely and sad.

Redemption is not for me.

What is redemption? Someone stepping in for us taking it all away. Clean as snow, white as a pearl, no more stains.

Washed clean.

Childhood

For me, it was very tumultuous. I had to ride on so many roller coasters that my nervous system is still healing.

It is beyond my understanding, but I continue to do yoga, meditate, study the bible, and try to have hope. Hope that I will get better slowly but surely every single day.

I want to be a good wife, mother, and sometimes the most difficult show kindness to myself.

I never had the luxury when I was growing up to have anyone really care about me in every aspect. Honestly, we didn’t have all the required needs fulfilled (i.e., shelter, food, etc.).

So, my mental and spiritual needs were never even attempted. Now, I have the ever presence of the Spirit and can’t but embrace His calm waters. It is the thing I strive for every single day.

Even though the pain of my past slips out on occasion, I always follow up with an apology and love. I am far from perfect; we all are.

Spent

Not spending too much money… lol! I have been so exhausted. I got super sick; literally on the brink of hospitalization. It was rough and my body is still healing.

But, if you know me at all yet I’ve been on a journey of healing for a long time now. That’s really the point of this blog for me.

Interestingly enough I keep running into people in the same state… a crushed state. In the bible this is a contrite spirit. The great news is this is when God pours his grace into us without even asking.

It is in this place that you can show your light to others. Why? Because your empathy is at it’s greatest. You feel so beside yourself that you can truly see others in the same state.

This is what we are here for.

Princes

 You must be mighty,

you must fear God.

You must not be

overly ornamental.

You must be honest

in all things.