5.08.2019

Fear Beyond Understanding

I uncovered a repressed memory last week of my father strangling me. But what is even more remarkable is the fear it has released inside of me. It was trapped inside and I didn't know why until now.

This is how I know fear is beyond our comprehension. I actually fainted because of it. It makes no logical sense at all that I would just faint out of the blue, except that I just identified that my biggest fear was to see my father again. I am so grateful to not have seen him since I was about six years old. But, he e-mailed me out of the blue.

I'm actually scared to death of him.... well was. It all had to come to the surface in order to acknowledge the fear he instilled in me. It manifested itself in my body in such a way that I had to "relive" the most fearful moment in my life. Not in every detail, but in its own way of showing me.

I mean I just know that so many of us have had terrible things done to us that we may or may not remember. I pray that God will give you the grace needed to uncover whatever hellish thing you need to in order to move on with your life. It has been terrible and wonderful at the same time for me. I am so grateful to release this fear and pain.