11.07.2020

The Children I Lost

I had no idea...

That when we were in college planning our wedding that my niece and nephew would need a home.

My sister was a addict up until five years ago. She lost custody when she passed out on a sidewalk after doing some drugs. Terrible, right?

The guilt really comes into play for me because our mother lost custody of us three as well. And yes from doing drugs too. She is still an addict.

So, when the authorities called to ask if we could take the kids, my knee jerk reaction was to say yes. I couldn't say no.

I figured I could talk my soon to be husband into saying yes as well. But reality hit and we just couldn't do it.

I didn't know I would carry that guilt all these years. It surprised me when I recently saw a picture of them as adults. The relief and sadness overcame me.

My heart was bound to them as children and will be forever more.