7.22.2019

Big Little Lie

I have something personal to share. If you know me at all, I'll share just about anything about myself. But this one thing has been the box in the corner of the room for a long time now that I haven't wanted to open. I honestly would just keep it closed up forever.

But God knows I'm not the only one... so here it goes.

For about a year of my life I was one hundred percent convinced I was gay. I was in my marriage with one child and had a complete breakdown. I got diagnosed bipolar. I was on medication zonked out of my mind for one year.

I willingly took the medication as a way to stabilize my moods but also to punish myself for putting my marriage in jeopardy. My husband didn't believe it, but I did.

I know I'm not gay now. I've been on a long journey of healing from PTSD which uncovered repressed memories including being raped at the age of nine.

It's complicated and I get that.